fishybusiness | Inbox/Voicemail

[ Oh she's good, she is so damned good right now. Sarah is floating on a cloud of bliss and the little trembles that run through her body are proof enough of that. She blinked slowly, rolling her head to the side to look at him, big dark eyes fixed on him as he moved closer. ]

I like the way you say my name. [ Her voice was only a little above a whisper, partly out of some odd reverence for the shared moment and partly because she'd made her throat a little raw with cries and heard breathing. She reached over to let her fingers stroke his cheek and then slide back through his hair. ]

[ She worked up the energy to roll over toward him, unable to stop the smile that spread wide across her face. She had a beautiful smile and at this moment it was all for him. ]And that was a hell of a lot better than watching tv.

[ She let her hand just ease over him, dragging softly over his shoulder and down his chest. He had scars, she hadn't really had the time or the presence of mind to look at them before but he had a lot of them. Old and silvered lines or rough-edged circles. He hadn't had an easy life nor had he had more pleasure than pain in it. ] Thanks for coming to my rescue tonight.

Yeah? [Bucky cracks a small smile and resists the urge to bury his face in the sheets as she touches his cheek, his hair. He's finding he much likes her touching his hair - gently or roughly or however she likes it - and her buoyant mood is making it easier for him to feel like everything has gone right tonight, and he doesn't need to feel awkward about any developments.

His gaze lingers on her lips, blinking slowly a few times. She could read him the phonebook right now with her quiet, soothing voice and he would have asked for her to start all over again from the first page.]

You came to mine. [He's barely feeling self-conscious right now even when she touches his scars. He's even bold enough to invite himself over, taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze.] Can I spend the night here? With you?

[He might change his mind once he starts doubting if he can make it through the night without a nightmare, although he can't take that question back now that it's out there.]

I'd like it if you did, plenty of room here. [ She made a gesture with her free hand to the bed which was, had been, big and empty for one person. Did he honestly think she would send him away or banish him back out to the couch? This poor man had so much going on in his thought process that she couldn't begin to unwind it all. ]

I make damn good breakfast too, when was the last time you had good homemade biscuits and gravy? [ She offered a little extra incentive for him to want to stay. Something that had been passed down by her grandmother, cooking was a tangible way of giving love to people, if you put your heart in something it can nourish a person's body and soul. And Sarah had always remembered that lesson. ]

[ She hefted her body enough to pull the covers out from underneath her, tugging at them to give him a hint to do the same, not that it was all that cold and they were still warm and glowing from moments ago. But she liked to have something on these days just in case. After all, it wasn't unheard of for Sam or someone to just show up at all hours. ] Get under here with me.

[He'll go wherever she tells him to, honestly. Couch or floor or back to his car. The bed is actually nice. Soft, compared to the bed he's made on the floor. He can make do in it for one night. It's easier to get used to with her lying next to him.]

Mmm. Stop. You'll never get rid of me. [Bucky chews on his bottom lip and snickers. He's a small disaster in the kitchen so he tends to eat out, or get takeaway, but there's not too many places around his apartment that sells proper southern food. She'll have him eating out of her hand if she bribes him with gumbo, although, she probably has him eating out of her hand either way.]

Sorry. [He wriggles a bit to let her have the blanket. The sheets are in a bit of a mess but he'll fix that in the morning. There will definitely be some awkward explaining to do if anyone else sees them like this, but for now Bucky isn't thinking about any of that as he slips under the covers and shuffles in close right next to her. He's probably too tired to have a violent awakening although he thinks it prudent to preempt her, just in case.]

I uh. I get. Strange. Dreams. Sometimes. I'll. Try not to wake you. [Not that he can help it, but. At least she won't be too alarmed.]

[ He had nothing to be sorry for, and she gave him a flat look for the apology. Just pulled covers over him and then eased in close to him. ] C'mere.

[ She tugged at him until she pulled him to rest against her, pillowing his head against her chest and taking his arm and draping it over her waist. She wrapped her own arms around him, one stroking his shoulder and the other softly carding through his hair. ]

Bad dreams, strange dreams, whatever comes for you, you send them to me. [ She nodded and gave him a gentle squeeze. She'd had nightmares, terrors sometimes, with the deaths of her parents and then her husband, with the loss of Sam. She'd hardly slept a therapist gave her something that made her just want to sleep all the time. But she had the boys and the boat and the business, she couldn't afford to be numb. So she worked through it, she saw that same feeling in him. ]

And you're welcome here as long as you like, you know that right? Doesn't have to be like this if you don't want but this is a home for you as much as Sam and me and the boys.[ And home meant safe, at least to her. ]

[Within seconds he finds a comfortable way to nestle against her, grip tightening gently against her side as he buries his face against her chest and starts to relax. Short hair and even shorter stubble probably makes her bare skin tickle. He's far too tall to fit too snugly against her, but he does seem a lot smaller when he's a little curled up, knees bent and head bowed.]

That wouldn't be fair on you. [Although he doesn't clarify if he means her trying to shoulder the burdens of his nightmares or if she's going to carve out space in her home alongside all the other spaces she's already carved out for the other boys.]

I like this. [It's a quiet little admission, not only because he's apprehensive about admitting it to anyone but also because he's still working out what he's allowed to like, and want, and have. He does feel safe here, even without her making that explicit. He's good with her kids, not a danger to them, and she's never made him defend that. A part of him feels more at home here than he's been alone in his apartment.

He... likes her, too, but that takes a lot more courage to say aloud than he can muster up for the moment. Maybe give him more time. Another day. A different occasion, with just the two of them. He might be able to manage it then. For now, it comes out more like a joke.]

I like you a hell of a lot more than I like Sam. [Considering how much they bicker like an old married couple though, Sam's probably set a low bar there.]

[ At five feet eleven inches she wasn't some small woman, he could stretch a bit if he wanted to, either way she was still soft and warm and welcoming of him when he moved close to her. His stubble did prickle at her skin, but it'd been a long time since she'd had the kind of closeness that could make that happen. She was able to enjoy the novelty of it for the time being ]

[ Sarah's hands still moved slow over him, not demanding just soft touches that signaled she was there and this was a place he belonged if he chose to. At least until he makes his joke, she shook with laughter, more inside than out loud and squeezed him a bit. ]

I like you too, definitely not the same as Sam. [ She enjoyed the laughter, it felt good to have a reason to laugh and share a joke again. She turned enough too press a soft kiss to his temple.]

Edited 2021-10-30 05:25 (UTC)

[He gropes around a bit to feel for her hand and curls his flesh and bone fingers in between hers. When was the last time he was this close to someone and he wasn't bleeding and bruised, they weren't trying to wrestle with or kill him? He can't remember. He can't remember touching someone in this way, the way his body reacts to being touched, being held. It should feel embarrassingly needy. It should be stressful.

But. It's Sarah. And he's tired. They both are. The house had fallen into a kind of quiet that he doesn't get in Brooklyn. Beyond the sound of them both breathing, he can even hear the waves if he listens hard enough.

His left arm almost powers down lying a dead weight on the bed as his fingertips trail down the side of her body, down to her thigh.]

When do the boys get back? [He's not ready to graduate from... family friend, maybe? Is that what he is? To... Whatever this is. A momentary lapse in keeping everything repressed. Saying things that had been cautiously guarded and left unspoken. Certainly he doesn't want things to get awkward. He's awkward enough as it is.]

[ She is very content, happy to let her eyes drift closed and bask in the warmth and afterglow. The bed feels better, less expansive, and empty with him there. It's not the literal sense of having someone in her bed, but the context of it. She and Buckly, James now maybe, the same man regardless had flirted with flirting back and forth. They'd both expressed interest but nothing had ever been made concrete until now. And the way he touched her, the intensity he made her feel wasn't just some one-night stand for her. Even if it only turned out to be one night, emotionally it was not. ]

[ She was used to the quiet, it always took her a few days to get acclimated to going anywhere that was busy at night, she'd been spoiled out here. But it was calming for her, that soft sound of the tide had lulled her to sleep more than a few nights, even some when she had been out fishing overnight with the boys and slept in the boat's small cabin. It was as natural to her as breathing by now. ]

Tomorrow afternoon, they spent the night with their friends and have a birthday party tomorrow. Probably will get them back with a sugar high and demands for the new video game their friend got. [ Because that was life with kids, they always saw the moment and very little further down the road. But she loved her boys more than anything. They'd kept her going when the loss and sadness had been too much. Parents, husband, a brother, she'd lost all of them, but her boys were a constant and they'd kept her from giving in to grief which had been far too tempting. She was strong for them and because of that became stronger herself. It was a concept she would never be able to tell them until they were older but A.J. and Cass saved her life. ]

You're welcome to stay though, they like you. [ And she had promised breakfast, hadn't she? ]

Oh. So, I get to keep you all night, and all morning? [He props himself up a bit, looking up at her with a toothy little grin. Hardly anyone can get a smile out of Bucky but, then again, Sarah isn't just anyone, is she? Mr. 'I don't wanna overstay my welcome' also happens to be one of the boys' coolest friends even though he's more ancient than anyone they know, and while video games are this foreign, almost otherworldly concept to him, they can probably convince him to stick around longer than he'd intended to and show him how to mash some buttons on their controllers - hopefully without breaking anything.

Settling down again, he nestles in close, half-lidded eyes drifting away lingering on her ceiling. He hasn't gotten to keep a whole lot of things in his unnaturally long life. Sometimes it just feels like a long list of things he never wanted. Serum. Murder. Violence. An oddly unnaturally long and unfulfilling life.

He's not sure he can keep her without wrecking anything. It has him wringing his hands idly, rubbing one thumb over the back of his fingers before he turns his head up towards her again.]

I'd like that. [If he says it quietly enough, just between the two of them, it's more likely to happen without incident.]

Assuming you want to, I guess it does.[ His smile was contagious, how could she not smile back? He seemed so unused to smiling that seeing it was like catching a glimpse of a rainbow or some rare treat. She liked it but didn't dare say anything out of fear it might make him feel self-conscious. ]

[ Her life had been filled with loss, she'd never speak it but she feared losing the boys. It was one reason she wanted them to be able to do what they wanted in life and yet it was so hard to let them out of her sight. She didn't have a great track record with the people she loved staying in her life, so she'd learned to keep those feelings and fears hidden while projecting a happier more together front.

The truth was after her parents and her husband, losing Sam just about broke her. First the Sokovia business which she knew was bullshit but that was beside the point, and then that whole blip. People everywhere lost someone and she couldn't afford to wallow in self-pity or bemoan her own losses. Sarah had to pull it together for the boys, for her community. They had all put in the work and shouldered the emotional burden of loss.

So now she grabbed what happiness she could when she could. She didn't know how long anyone had, so she figured Bucky was as safe a bet as anyone when it came to being around. He had beaten the odds so far. ]

I'd like it too, in fact I'd like it if you wanted to spend more time here in general. [ She spoke soft and low, no pressure or cth in her words. ] Without me needing rescue hopefully.

You don't need an excuse to see me. [It's not like she needs to shine the bat symbol into the sky to get his attention. He had just figured she's got her boys and her family business and the community to look after. He's off doing... Things of questionable legality and not making the best life decisions. He knows she doesn't see him as another burden to bear, but he doesn't like feeling that way when she ends up taking care of him.

But it's mostly just excuses for his self-imposed isolation. Coming around more often might even be good for him. And her needing help just... makes it feel like it's good for them both. The more he comes over the more he'll feel better about it - assuming Sam doesn't kick up a fuss. Anyway, her saying she likes his company goes a long way as it is.]

I could make a regular thing of it. [He can't promise once a fortnight or anything like that. But he'll try. He might even use his phone to call ahead.]

Could give you a regular night off, too, if you want me to take the boys off your plate. [He doesn't just mean coming over for... rolling around in her bed with her, as much as he enjoys it.]

But you got a life, and it's a busy one. You and Sam being heroes, Avengers. I know that can't leave you a lot of time for things, if it did Sam would be here more.[ Or maybe Sam just had other priorities. She hated that it got to her. What sort of sister was she if she focused on her problems and her life over the bigger things that Sam dealt with all the time? It made her feel petty, petty and human. She supposed it was because she was. ]

[ She was a single mom, a business owner, a member of the community and a black woman. The latter making all that came before it that much more of a challenge in the world. She wasn't asking for handouts or someone to snap their fingers and make things magically better, but she was just so damned tired of hauling the load all the time. ]

[ That was what had led to her Mom-cation tonight and taking a night to blow off stress with bad (but hot) tv and the other Captin in her life. But Morgan did her no favors. Or had it? Because of her stubborn stupidity Bucky had ended up here and they had somehow, it was all sort of a blur to her now, ended up in her bed. A result she was more than happy about, she'd found him attractive from the jump, but it seemed to follow the rest of her life in that there was no pattern or logic. Things happened, this just happened to be a really, really good thing. ]

I'd like to see you more. And not just like this. [ She picked up her head and took a long slow look down his body. ] Though this is pretty damn good too. [ She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. ]

They'd love to spend time with you, A.J. and Cas really like you. Probably teach you about their video games as soon as they see you and drag you into one. [ She liked watching him with her boys, and lord knew they needed more men in their lives to model some sort of idea of what men can be like. Something other than the absent father or doddering old men at the docks who talked about women like they were as easy to catch and keep as the fish in the bay. Bucky had some old-fashioned values all mixed up in everything else he had going on, it would be good for the boys to get some of that expierence. ]

We're not heroes. We're just-- a couple of guys trying to help out. [Bucky at least doesn't feel like he's doing any of what he does out of any heroics. He's atoning for his sins. He's finding something to do so he can dig himself out of this hole. Looking for meaning, and a new purpose. And he's pretty sure that Sam is just trying to do the right thing too. A lot of wrong things have happened in the last... century.]

I could be around more. [Sam has other things going on in his life - complicated things, now that he's taken up the mantle; she's right about that - and Bucky can't control how much Sam is or isn't around. He can only decide what he wants to do in his own time. This... connection they have. It's good for them both.

He smiles at her little kiss and lowers his head quietly.] Can't promise I'd be any good with video games. But I'll try anything they like. [Ask anyone some years ago whether he'd be good around kids and the unanimous answer would have been something along the lines of 'hell no, are you crazy?' But he could be a better influence on them than the men at the docks.

Back in his day, several lifetimes ago, he hardly spent any time at home. He was always outside, running around, tracking dirt and mud everywhere, getting into trouble with other boys. AJ and Cas could put the controllers down and learn a few things outdoors too.]

Who knows, maybe I'll drag them outside camping instead. [That might give her another headache, and not necessarily better than the one the boys are already giving her. But they've got all this land, and an abundance of water. Seems like a waste to spend hours staring at the television enacting some kind of violence that the world doesn't really need more of.]

When was the last time you camped out, anyway? [Rolling around in bed together is much better, don't get him wrong, but boys will be boys and while he's a city boy through and through, he thinks she'll enjoy a night outside before the weather changes for the worse.] You'd enjoy it. All that mud and... mosquitoes...

I'm not great with them either, but the boys love them and don't seem to mind teaching me. [ She was sure they would teach him too, and have fun beating him up in game form at least. ]

[ She laughed at camping though, the boys stepping away from their computers and games for more than a few hours was a rare thing. But who knows, maybe he could get them to enjoy it. He did have stories and plenty of them he could tell. And he was capable so it's not like she had to worry about the boys being safe with him. She just knew she could trust him and Sam trusted him, so it was a done deal. ]

Uhh, since I was maybe five or six? Unless you count sleeping on the boat. I mean we'd set up a tent in the backyard sometimes, watch fireflies and the stars. But not real camping. [ It had been years since they'd done that even, back when she was trying to be both a dad and a mom for them before she realized all she could be was a mom, but a mom who tried damn hard to give them all they needed. ]

When you put it that way how could I resist?[ She gave him a soft shove and grin. ]

[Yeah, he's really selling it hard, he knows. He snickers and squirms a bit while lying next to her again, finding a comfortable proximity and a space for his left arm to tuck into while he drapes his right arm over her. It's a little odd for him, finding comfort in holding and being held after so long of being anxious when people so much as get within touching distance. He's still worried about mid-sleep disturbances, but he's visibly relaxed now, settled in with half-lidded eyes slowly fluttering close just listening to her breathe.]

It's settled then. You're coming along... [Muttered quietly with his eyes still closed, brushing his thumb over her hip in a slow rub that's a sure warning sign that he's falling asleep. Not so much a date, if the mosquitoes are coming along - and the two boys, the fireflies, and any other insects planning on joining them - but with Bucky it's easier to just do things than to try and use words or figure this kind of complicated stuff out. He'll save the brooding over what exactly they're doing or what it all means and all the rest of it for much further down the road. He can kick cans pretty far if he puts his mind to it.]

I guess I'm going then.[ She had to chuckle at that, he just proclaimed it to be so, so what else could she say? What else would she want to say? ] But I'm getting some kind of comfortable mattress thing to sleep on because I don't care for rocks in my back.

No bad dreams for you tonight.[ She leaned her head in close to whisper to his temple. ] Hear me dreams? I got him and you have to go through me to get him. [ She pressed a soft kiss to his temple and settled in easing down and letting her eyes close. Her body felt deliciously tired and with the sort of sore she loved to feel again. She could already tell she'd sleep heavy and well with his warmth in her bed. ]

[Yeah, she's probably going to feel this in the morning too. Rocks in her back would be the least of her worries if they decided to do anything more than make out like teenagers in a tent - and they'd have to be real quiet about it too. But he just makes one of those 'probably agreeing to her request' type of hum-grunts (not to be confused with that 'whatever you say' scoff-grunt or the classic 'leave me alone' growl-grunt even though sometimes they sound very similar) and slowly his hand trails down the length of her arm as he unconsciously gravitates even closer towards her.

He'd like to believe it was so simple to ward away the nightmares. To be fair though, he's never had someone try to protect him from them before. Not the way she's promising to. It brings a twinge of a small smile to his lips and he gives her hand a wordless light squeeze.

Whether she's got the secret to dreamless sleeps or whether she wore him out enough to do the trick, he'll just have to spend the next few weeks figuring out, especially after he wakes up in her unfamiliar room and somehow doesn't have a panic about where he's been sent, to do what, and how much time he might have lost.]

She's not one to get wild and freaky with her kids in the same tent or near enough that they could hear everything. She'd feel weird about it. Hell her husband passed when both of the boys were still young enough that it hadn't been an issue really. But now she'd feel strange about it.

Still, there were lots of other things that could be done and kept ore quiet. She had good hands and a better mouth, if they decided they wanted to have some fun there were definitely ways. It shocked her that she was already actually thinking about plans with him, with them all together. She'd never done that in all the years she had been widowed.

Sarah had dated off and on but it had just been... weird. She didn't like the bar scene to meet someone, and online was just some kind of trash fire more often than not. This was so easy it almost scared her, she was just falling into it as she belonged there. It didn't linger on her mind for too long before she drifted off to sleep.

She woke with warm sunshine creeping across the bed and warming the blanket over her toes. She gave a delicious stretch and oh yes there was another body in her bed and responsible for the lingering ache in her thighs. Sarah grinned and rolled to the side to look at him.

Mornin', you want some coffee? [ She moved to start getting out of bed already running through ingredients for breakfast. ]

[Despite not having spent much time in here at all, Bucky knows where he is. Who he's with. He might not know what time or day it is but he knows they're both safe and most likely alone and that's ultimately what matters.

His idea of a morning usually involves lying tangled up in sheets sticking to his skin for too long, closing his eyes and contemplating whether he should bother getting out of bed - is it Dr. Raynor day? Otherwise, should he even bother with the whole day or just lie there alone with his demons and his unsettling discontent?

Clearly that's not her idea of a morning and in an attempt to appear in as good of a headspace as he claims to be, he puts in the effort to roll over with a long, reluctant groan and try to encourage Sarah to come back into bed with an outstretched hand.]

Coffee can wait until 11, can't it? [Nothing says 'come baaack' like a bit of flailing and clawing at thin air.]

[ She laughed but it was cut off midway through for a yawn. She looked over at the clock on her nightstand, a little after eight. She could afford to relax a little while longer she supposed. ] I suppose it can wait a while.

[ Taking a day off wasn't her usual or a late day as it was in this case. But the boys weren't here to need breakfast and she could let herself relax some and enjoy the novelty of someone in her bed.

Her mornings were usually a hustle and bustle of activity, get the boys up and ready for school, make lunches for them and whoever else might need them. Get those things squared away and done before heading to the boat for a day's catch. It felt almost a little naughty to be just laying there and indulging, but that might have been what gave her the smile she had when she snuggled back down into place under the covers.

She wasn't tired really, but she took the time to look at him, hair mussed from sleep and face without the worry lines he carried during the day. God, it made him look so much younger. Seeing him like this made it hard to remember who he was under it all and how long he'd been around.

Eventually, she'd need to get up, use the restroom and brush her teeth from the cottonmouth of drinking that she'd woken with. The task for the day was to drink lots of water. She was mildly amazed she didn't have a hangover but assumed the activity of the previous night might have burned through some of the booze and actually helped with that. ]

But we're going to wake up eventually. [ She reminded him. ]

[He's a bad influence on her, clearly, and she probably knows it. It would be different if the boys around - they can't go to school hungry and Bucky would have even offered to go with them, answer their million questions on the way there. But if it's just the two of them, he's definitely going to try and get her to slow down, take it easy for one morning.]

Yes ma'am. [He shifts his head in the pillow again, half his face buried in the pillowcase, and cracks a smile at her. He couldn't recall having a nightmare and she isn't looking at him terrified, or bruised, so it must have been an uneventful night. That happens to be the best kind, in his book, and he'll take his small wins wherever he can find them.

He lifts the covers using the back of his arm, making sure she's settled in again properly before lowering the sheets back down over her. They're most definitely not cuddling. She ain't got time for that, and he's too aloof to indulge in something like that, but he's definitely close enough to tuck his head in close against her chest and just listen to her breathe.]

Are you okay? [Bucky probably means to ask something more like are we okay, but that can probably wait.]

[ He slept like a rock as far as she knew, he didn't wake her and she slept well enough to not get up for anything minor. But the appeal of a warm bed and warmer bed partner was too tempting to turn down.

She saw the grin and matched it with her own, she liked seeing him smile. Sarah stroked fingers idly up and down his arm. ]

I'm ok, you? [ The question struck her as strange but it was something he felt the need to ask so she wanted to make sure he was too. ]

Yeah. Yeah I'm-- actually good. [He doesn't expect her to know that he hasn't been good in a while. Or at least, he always says he's good regardless of how he feels. Right now though, he's a kind of honest and vulnerable with her that would almost be borderline uncomfortable if he didn't... like her so much.]

This is nice. [A quiet admission that he turns a little bit to confess to the ceiling to. He lets her keep his arm because her light touches are equally nice, if not nicer.

He feels like she would regret taking him up on the offer if he made breakfast, but he does want to do something for her other than encouraging her in these loathsome, bad habits of rolling around in bed all day having a proper lazy morning.]

I'm not a good cook, but. I should help you in the kitchen.

Good is... good. [ She didn't have to know the details to know Bucky was haunted, Sam had told her enough and she'd seen how he slept in the past, or more accurately how he didn't. Though he'd seemed to be starting to relax more when he was around the house and the kids. ]

[ Sarah made a sound of agreement allowing herself to relax into an easy rest. He started it now he had to deal with the fact that she was going to take advantage of it. ]

You can help, might even learn something. The biscuits take work but they are worth the effort. [ The gravy was just standard, for someone who had been making it for years anyway. She'd made this countless times since she was a girl, but it would be interesting teaching him. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Sorry for the delay, been overseas 😬

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject